Titanic
1997
Director: James Cameron
Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet, Billy Zane
Sigh. So someone over at my “1001 Movies Blog Club” picked Titanic to be the movie of the week. For realz.
Here we go.
First things first, there’s something you need to know about me, as this will inform most of my opinion of this film.
I.
Hate.
Epics.
Not just “dislike.” Not just “well, I would never choose to watch one, it’s just not my preferred genre.”
No.
Actively loathe. I loathe epics.
Probably my least favorite genre of films ever. It’s just not what I want out of my films.
Why? First of all, no one ever made a short epic. So whatever story you find yourself trapped in, get comfortable, because jesus, you’re not getting out of it for at least three hours. In the case of this one, it’s four. I mean honest to god, there is a virtue to telling a story economically, but you never get that in an epic. EVER. Why so long, epics? Why so long? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate on epics just because they’re long, though. There are long movies that I love. But epics are dull. Mind-numbingly dull, filled with show-offy set pieces, one after another, a nonstop litany of drudgery that lasts forever and ever and ever. They are long and dull. They make me want to peel the iris out of my eyes to save myself the pain of ever watching them again.
